On Prayer — Why we pray?

Why do we pray? Are we consistent in why we pray? Do we pray because we are happy, because we are sad, we are guilty, we are needy, we are afraid. How does praying change as we age? When do we really start to pray, if at all?

Prayers, are very personal so if this touches a nerve or puts doubts in your beliefs, please recognize that’s not my intention. A prayer perhaps gives a boost to our ego, our confidence in ourselves. It is an act to let all external forces align to make our wishes come true. Now one might argue, that we don’t always have a reason when we pray, for we pray out of habit. Do we not have a subconscious wish when we pray, unknown to ourselves? I think we do, perhaps just wishing for good luck, keeping the bad spirits away.

It’s hard for me to remember when I started to pray. Growing up as a Hindu, probably I was taught a prayer at a very young age.

In Hindu families it’s typical to teach a prayer to young kids as they start to speak. Usually the parents or grand parents are the instructors. Once the kids learns to say a prayer, he or she is made to say them in front of family and friends. The first prayer is often a celebration of the child’s ability to speak.

Then based on how religious the family is the instruction continues and the habit of praying gets formed. A Pavlovian reflex gets created. You are told to apologize in front of god through a prayer when you make a mistake or commit a frailty. When you fall sick you pray to get better, when you are taking an exam you pray that the questions are easy or based on what you know. Thus the habit of praying gets created at a very young age. Again this varies by family and I would venture some form of praying is practiced even in the most agnostic families.

The innocent mind of a child truly believes that god is a savior and prays fervently sometimes with tears in their eyes. That changes as the child ages and becomes a teen ager and then further morphs by the time adulthood dawns.

We prays for good grades, or we prays for that girl friend or boy friend to say yes and not spurn us, or pray that the light turns green so we can get to the station before the train leaves, etc. If things work the way we want we praise the lord and thank him for his blessings; and if they don’t we blame our misdeeds and consider the outcome to be a warning for us straying from our righteous path.

As we get older and wiser despite this upbringing, we start choosing our own ways. Some of us continue to pray regularly out of habit, others amongst us break the habit and some of us do so irregularly perhaps on auspicious days. Then when misfortune strikes we all become normalized and start praying regularly.

Some say a prayer ushers good thoughts into our mind leading us to think and do good. Yet we know of villainous acts committed by those who pray. Clearly the prayer is not to blame, but unless used effectively it fails to restrain the perverted mind.

So it can be argued that all that a prayer accomplishes is giving us a steady mind when we are tormented. Praying when we are happy or satisfied helps us train our mind to be steady, for even when we are happy our emotions are inflated. Prayers help in bringing equilibrium to our chaotic mind. Prayer by itself does not solve our problem as we have come to believe. When our brain is steady we are able to think clearly and convince ourselves how we should behave or react to what we are faced with.

So do pray, and pray a lot but do realize that the prayer is not the solution to your problem but the means to find a solution as when your confidence returns, your innate ability will help you find a way.